Quintessence

Google Maps Street View

Sat, 18 Aug 2007 06:03:45 GMT

In case you haven't heard, Google Maps Street View now works in downtown Los Angeles, and many major streets in the Los Angeles area. It seems like most of the funny things people have found are from the San Francisco area, so I started looking around for funny stuff in LA, starting at USC.

Guy riding a bike sideways? I'm not sure what the deal is with this.

11 National Championships Fight on!

Guy standing in the middle of Jefferson, under the freeway.

If you don't know what this is, just go there (with a friend!) and you will not be disappointed.

Okay, I'm bored. More later perhaps.

Ever play "That's Good, That's Bad"

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 07:50:51 GMT

There was this game we used to play. Not really a game, but here's how it went:

This guy fell out of an airplane. (That's bad)
He had a parachute. (That's good)
It didn't open. (you keep alternating good/bad...)
He had a back-up parachute
It didn't open either.
As he fell, he saw a underneath him.
There was a pitchfork sticking straight up out of the haystack.
He missed the pitchfork.
He missed the haystack.

My life has been kind of like that. More good than bad though. I'm definitely too lazy to type it out now.

Sonic!

Mon, 21 May 2007 08:29:58 GMT

Way way way back in the day, when I was going out with Jacob, every time we were watching TV and a Sonic commercial came on, he would tell me how great Sonic Burger is and how I was so missing out. So anyway, I did some research and the nearest one is allthewaythefuckoutin ANAHEIM and I decided to stop there on the way to this improv deal at UCI.

It was pretty much delicious, and I'm for sure going again the next time I can think of a good excuse to go to orange county. Disneyland or Knott's would be likely contenders, I guess. Maybe.

Here's why South Park is great

Sun, 20 May 2007 06:25:34 GMT

In twenty-two minutes, they can parody Terminator, the recount of 2000, Rosie O'Donnell, Jesse Jackson, and 2001 A Space Odyssey.

Classic episode.

Category: Things not to say if you don't like fire alarms going off at 4 am.

Sun, 06 May 2007 11:06:04 GMT

"Wow. I have nothing planned for tomorrow. My entire day is completely free, and I can do anything I want. That's awesome."

Yes. You should not say that because then the fire alarm WILL go off at ridiculous o'clock in the morning.

I think I'm going to spend the next couple hours or so figuring out where on campus I can stand to watch the sunrise.

school spirit

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 13:52:13 GMT

I woke up today to the sound of the So Cal Spellout. You can see the time on this post. There were a bunch of guys, apparently some kind of cross-country team or something, standing between Marks Tower and Trojan Hall, just doing the Spellout over and over and over, as loud as they could. Of course, I ran down to join them, but by the time I got there, they were ready to move on. Still, what a kickass way to wake up in the morning.

my email

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 03:45:50 GMT

I just sent this email to my section and I thought it was funny, so I shall preserve it here for posterity or something.

Altos, Altissimos, Altitudes, Alternate Lifestyles, Alternate Fingerings, the Alternator in your car, the Alt key on your keyboard, et al(t).

Guess what?

You've seen me dance, but you may not know that I also know how to sing. Yes, really. Furthermore, I'm in a choir, and we have a concert this sunday (sunday (sunday)). It's not like a big deal or anything, so if you were planning on eating, napping, staring into space, being a facebook stalker, being a regular real-life stalker, being a facebook stalkee, buying and selling stocks, stocking up on snacks, stocking up on snakes, snacking on snakes, snacking on cakes, doing a cakewalk, walking on the sun, sunbathing, actually bathing as in taking a bath, writhing, wriggling, squiggling, squawking, squaring the circle, running around in circles, running a marathon, running away from home, being a homing pigeon, poisoning pigeons in the park, parking your car, carving a turkey, eating a turkey sandwich, going to the beach and sitting in the sand pretending to be a witch, building a sandcastle, building an actual castle, living in an actual castle, livin' la vida loca, going to el pollo loco, giving and/or receiving taco-flavored kisses and/or any other taco-flavored public display of affection, being zesty, being zany, going to the zoo, laughing, crying, pondering, wandering, laundering money, lending money, borrowing money, checking your credit score, scoring with the opposite sex, scoring with the same sex, exploding, imploding, being impressive, being expressive, being extraordinary, being ordinary, ordering pizza, playing violin and/or viola pizzicato, violating someone and/or something, sucking dick for coke, or anything else you may have had planned for sunday night, then you may want to just keep that plan. Because really, it's not a big deal.

However, if you weren't planning any of the above, then you might want to come to my concert. And I would be glad if you did. Details time is now.

What??? the Apollo Choir, which is all non-females, as well as the Oriana Choir, which is all non-males, in a joint concert

Does one of the songs feature timpani??? Yes.

Is the timpanist cute??? Yeah, we rehearsed with him on Monday, and he is.

What's his name??? Eric.

Why are you still talking about this guy??? See the question before last.

Okay, can you move on now??? Sure.

When??? 7:30 pm, this sunday (sunday (sunday)) the 22nd of april, the day after the big (huge!) basketball tournament

Where??? Alfred Newman Recital Hall

Uh, where??? It's by that big geyser across from Tommy. You'll see it because there are animals on the side of it.

There are animals on the side of it??? Yup.

Why are there animals on the side of it??? No idea.

How much does it cost??? Nothing.

Really??? Yes really. It's free.

Is it on Facebook??? Yes. http://usc.facebook.com/event.php?eid=2262227491

Is there free food??? Not that I know of. Sorry.

So in summary:

Come to my choral concert, sunday 4/22, at 7:30 pm, at Alfred Newman Recital Hall, please?

-Napoleon "I pray that one day my emails will be as funny as Tommy's" Cockamite, aka the Teeeeej

an idea

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 02:57:02 GMT

This summer, I shall attempt to write a book without nouns. Pronouns, I think, will be allowed.

a story

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 05:13:54 GMT

True story.

I go to EVK just now, and I sit by myself because the protocol of EVK is that you don't interact with strangers. If you have friends, you can eat with them, but if you're there alone, you eat alone. Not trying to be dramatic, that's just how it tends to go down. As you know (because I'm telling you) EVK plays a mix of music which is all pretty good, but just random enough to make you constantly think to yourself, "Really? THIS song? Okay..."

So. Just about the time I sit down to begin the eating process, the song Revolution comes on. By the Beatles. And I start quietly singing along, but then drop out when I realize I only know the first sixteen words. But this kid a couple tables away clearly knew all the words, and was lip-syncing to the entire thing. And on a scale of one to cute, he was, um, pretty cute. That's not a very scientific scale, really. But anyway.

I was kinda looking at him, pretending to try not to let him KNOW that I was looking at him, hoping that he would see me looking and trying not to let him see me looking. But I don't think he saw me anyway. And of course I didn't go TALK to him, because that would mean actually following through on my Be Less Shy plan. And since when do I follow through with plans, right? So I'm hoping I'll randomly see him again sometime, so that I can be too shy to go up and talk to him again.

so gay

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 20:28:36 GMT

Before the explore gig yesterday, Tommy said something was "so gay" and then he was like, "no offense... or like, I mean... are you offended by that?" And it's weird. I realized that, as a very over-generalized rule, it annoys me when non-band people say stuff like that, but when people in the band do it, it doesn't bother me. I think it's because the band has developed a culture where we're as offensive as possible, but with the understanding that we don't mean it.

I hate when celebrities apologize.

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 17:56:13 GMT

http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/02/021907hardaway.htm

It's like celebrities can say whatever the fuck they want, because they know they can just apologize or "have their publicist release a statement" a couple of days later and it's like it won't count. I guess in this case, he actually lost some commercial deals or something, so I suppose that's good. But this is just such bullshit. It's not like anyone really believes he didn't mean it. I mean, I know this is just a weird choice of words, but look: "telling a Miami television station that he "didn't mean" to say what he said in a South Florida radio interview last week." It seems to me that he "didn't mean to say it" but he "did mean it." See the difference?

Also, the article calls his comments a "homophobic outburst" - bullshit. He knew exactly what he was saying. The guy straight up called him a bigot, before he got to "I hate gay people" and he made no attempt to dispute that. That's not an outburst, and you don't get to apologize for something that you said when you were calm and collected and sober. I found an actual sound clip so you can hear for yourself.

Radio guy: Tim Hardaway, last question before we let you go: How do you deal with a gay teammate?
Tim Hardaway: Woah. First of all, I wouldn't want him on my team. And second of all, you know, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him, because I don't think that's right, and you know, I don't think that he should be in the locker room while we're in the locker room. And it's just a whole lot of other things, so I wouldn't even be a part of that. But you know, stuff like that going on, and there's a lot of other people here like that, that's still in the closet and don't want to come out the closet, but you know, I'd just leave that alone.
RG: You know that what you're saying there though Timmy is flatly homophobic, right? It's just--it's bigotry.
TH: Well you know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known, I don't like gay people. I don't like to be around gay people. I don't--you know, I'm homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world for that, or in the United States for it, so yeah, I don't like it.

Anyway, I wish that just once, a celebrity would say something shocking and offensive because they actually mean it. And then stick to it. Or, I wish the apology would get almost no coverage, so the celebrity would have to buy their own airtime and make a serious effort to get people to hear their apology, instead of just saying it once in a press conference or interview no one sees, then letting the media tell everyone how truly deeply sorry they are. Or, I wish people would disregard these lame little apologies. Although to be fair, I think a lot of people do.

By the way, Tim. I don't hate you. If it makes you feel any better.

fun stuff

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 06:03:39 GMT

We're reading Calvino's Invisible Cities in Core 112, and -- this is shocking -- I'm kind of enjoying it. So I was reading about Calvino on Wikipedia, and then wandering through "related links." Found some fun stuff.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constrained_writing
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exercises_in_Style (a literary version of the improv game Replay, basically)
http://www.bevrowe.info/Poems/QueneauRandom.htm (a gazillion different sonnets. no really)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglish (just silly)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Train_de_Nulle_Part (a novel without verbs)

Moody!

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 20:16:12 GMT

It turns out that Emmanuel Moody is in my THTR 395 class. Seriously.

rainbow floor?

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 18:37:37 GMT

Rainbow Floor 07-08

Pros:
I get to hang out with gay people, and perhaps meet guys who I could potentially go out with.
I don't have to be around straight people all the time like I am now.
The activities scheduled by the RA are probably pretty fun.
If I just apply for regular on-campus housing, I wouldn't necessarily get it, and I might end up in Founders or something really far away like that, unless I wanted to live in Marks again. Which I don't.

Cons:
I'd be around gay people all the time, and probably a lot of them are the type of gay where they're so gay that it makes you uncomfortable.
It's in Century, which is off-campus (although not too far, especially if I have a bike).
If I do decide that I don't like it, switching mid-year or mid-semester is probably a paperwork nightmare.

What say you?

first semester of college

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 23:23:03 GMT

Now that my first semester is over, I'm done with my finals, and I'm home with lots of free time, I thought maybe I'd take some of that time and write a little something about my first semester of college - what it was like for me, what I learned, the friends I made. Then I thought, nevermind.

So I didn't.

This is how far I walked today.

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 09:27:40 GMT

About 2.8 miles. I'm aw-esome and -kward.

Things that actually annoy me

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 09:13:11 GMT

There's some movie coming out that has the word happyness in the title. Spelled like that. Now even more people are going to think it's actually spelled like that.

A wiki is a type of website. Wikipedia is one specific wiki (probably the most useful and well-known one). Referring to Wikipedia as "wiki" for short is like referring to Webster's Dictionary as "book"

There needs to be a standard for friending people on facebook. It can be low, like, I glanced at her one time. But you can't just friend everyone. That's stupid.

In unrelated news, I allegedly have 156 friends at USC. Amazing.

There's a Christmas horror movie coming out on Christmas. I hope this isn't the birth of a genre, because Christmas and horror don't need to go together. It's not necessary at all.

Ground Zero isn't open.

By request of Becca

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 23:55:59 GMT

Holidays are stupid. I mean, what's the point of holidays, am I right? Come on, I mean... holidays... what's the point?

Seriously.

band banquet (stuff i got)

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 18:30:29 GMT

This is what I got, besides a nice dinner and a Greufette cookie, which I don't have pictures of.

ugly-ass sweatshirt

shiny trophy

band banquet

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 07:41:23 GMT

I haven't posted in a while, so I guess band banquet is a good enough reason.

Besides the food, which was very good, and the getting drunk, which I didn't do, the big thing of the night was the awards. There were serious awards for such things as surviving all four years of band (for which you get this very nice blanket), being a section leader (for which you get money), being the best squad leader, or best musician, and etc. I got the alto "ideal freshman" award. Which is kind of bullshit only because all seven of us were pretty much the ideal freshmen. I think I should share it with all of them, but that could be rather difficult. But then there were also joke awards like the Black Rose Award for people who fucked up and got caught and fucked up again and got caught again, and still fought on. And they gave all the short people the Oompa Loompa award. The alto section and the people-named-TJ section were both well-represented in the recipients of that award, although I didn't get one, despite being part of both of those sections. Yvette (of the flutes, not our Yvette) got the Martyr Award which was sort of a you-had-to-be-there type deal. I wish I could remember all of them. There was the Golden Stein for drunken debauchery. The "get the hell out of band" award for people who've been in the band for way too long. The entire horns section got something because of Tara fucking up at stanford.

Anyway. We still have the Rose Bowl which almost everyone is going to be there for. So it's not like the season is over. But banquet sort of marks an official ending in a way, so I can't help thinking about how much I'm going to miss some of the people that are leaving, either because they're seniors or because they aren't going to have any time next year, or whatever reason. Mainly Emily, Danny, Tony and (if he does end up leaving) Hutch. But on the bright side, we'll be getting some brand new freshmen and that means we get a chance to yell at someone. But we also get a chance to be nice about it and not be assholes and welcome brand new people into the band.

I guess I'm out of sentimental shit to say. So I will just mention that I got this really sweet (read: really ugly) sweatshirt. I'm definitely going to wear it all the time (read: never) and it's so great that I don't even care about the "better" jacket I'm getting at next year's banquet. (read: God damn it, now I have to go through a whole nother band camp and a whole nother season of marching around on that fucking astro-turf just to get a decent band jacket I can actually wear.)

No seriously. I love this band and I would stay in it all four years even if I didn't get the jackets and the donuts and such.

Fight on.

House Drinking Game

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 21:28:49 GMT

I think the show House is just asking for a drinking game to be made of it. So here we go. Take a drink every time...

- you hear any of the following words: EKG, MRI, biopsy, negative.
- If two or more of the words show up in the same sentence, double the number of drinks. For example, if they say "The EKG and MRI were both negative" that's three words, so take six drinks.
- House says something sarcastic
- A scene ends with House giving everyone instructions, then they all stand there staring at him for a moment, until he says something, and they all start to leave.
- House uses his cane to do something, such as push open a door, or poke somebody
- House says it must be something that the team already tested for.
- House tells someone to search the patient's house or apartment.
- A disease you've never heard of is mentioned. (If they mention a disease you HAVE heard of, take two drinks.)
- House comes up with a metaphor to describe to a patient how a particular disease works.

Please contribute more ideas.

I also want to make up a 24 drinking game...

it would be funny if it wasn't true

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 09:58:24 GMT

A sample of what I get to read in Spanish class:

http://actualidad.terra.es/articulo/html/av2361296.htm

Destacó también que la conducta de las personas homosexuales suele compaginarse con otras patologías, como la depresión grave, el trastorno obsesivo compulsivo, el aumento de ideas suicidio, crisis de ansiedad generalizada, mayor propensión al consumo drogas, trastornos de personalidad graves, narcisismo patológico y, según algunos autores, esquizofrenia.

I'm not going to translate because I'm too lazy. But basically, homosexuals are not only suffering from a mental disorder, caused by being molested by drunk fathers and over-protective mothers, who, if they raise kids, will produce only gay, transsexual, promiscuous kids (all that stuff isn't the part I quoted...) but they're also depressed, schizophrenic, narcissistic drug addicts.

Well, damn it. I have no idea why we might be depressed and suicidal. What the fuck could that be about, huh?

results

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 04:48:27 GMT

Just in case you aren't watching the news...

(from The Onion)

oops

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 02:11:23 GMT

So guess what? I have these waffle irons for band, right? And I wanted to test them and make sure they work, since they haven't been used in many years. So how do I test them? By plugging them in and pouring water on them. If steam comes up, it means the waffle iron is working. The good news, by the way, is that they both work.

But guess what steam does? It sets off smoke alarms. And the only way to get it to stop beeping, apparently, is to rip it off the wall. So now I need to figure out how to put it back.

Oops.

edit: I also burned my fingers and I've had them in cold water for a few hours but they still hurt. Shit.

again

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 08:20:06 GMT

I must stop crushing on the straight boys. I must stop crushing on the straight boys. I must stop crushing on the straight boys. I must stop crushing on the straight boys. I must stop cr...

Also. The weekender was weekendalicious. The bus games were ridiculous - I can't wait until we get to play them again next year. And we got to carry on Stanford's losing streak, which was fun. Even though the n was off in pregame which is super awkward.

I have to register for classes for next semester really soon. Whaaaat am I taking? Noooo idea.