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Matrix Frog

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my email [Apr. 17th, 2007|08:44 pm]
Matrix Frog
I just sent this email to my section and I thought it was funny, so I shall preserve it here for posterity or something.

Altos, Altissimos, Altitudes, Alternate Lifestyles, Alternate Fingerings, the Alternator in your car, the Alt key on your keyboard, et al(t).

Guess what?

You've seen me dance, but you may not know that I also know how to sing. Yes, really. Furthermore, I'm in a choir, and we have a concert this sunday (sunday (sunday)). It's not like a big deal or anything, so if you were planning on eating, napping, staring into space, being a facebook stalker, being a regular real-life stalker, being a facebook stalkee, buying and selling stocks, stocking up on snacks, stocking up on snakes, snacking on snakes, snacking on cakes, doing a cakewalk, walking on the sun, sunbathing, actually bathing as in taking a bath, writhing, wriggling, squiggling, squawking, squaring the circle, running around in circles, running a marathon, running away from home, being a homing pigeon, poisoning pigeons in the park, parking your car, carving a turkey, eating a turkey sandwich, going to the beach and sitting in the sand pretending to be a witch, building a sandcastle, building an actual castle, living in an actual castle, livin' la vida loca, going to el pollo loco, giving and/or receiving taco-flavored kisses and/or any other taco-flavored public display of affection, being zesty, being zany, going to the zoo, laughing, crying, pondering, wandering, laundering money, lending money, borrowing money, checking your credit score, scoring with the opposite sex, scoring with the same sex, exploding, imploding, being impressive, being expressive, being extraordinary, being ordinary, ordering pizza, playing violin and/or viola pizzicato, violating someone and/or something, sucking dick for coke, or anything else you may have had planned for sunday night, then you may want to just keep that plan. Because really, it's not a big deal.

However, if you weren't planning any of the above, then you might want to come to my concert. And I would be glad if you did. Details time is now.

What??? the Apollo Choir, which is all non-females, as well as the Oriana Choir, which is all non-males, in a joint concert

Does one of the songs feature timpani??? Yes.

Is the timpanist cute??? Yeah, we rehearsed with him on Monday, and he is.

What's his name??? Eric.

Why are you still talking about this guy??? See the question before last.

Okay, can you move on now??? Sure.

When??? 7:30 pm, this sunday (sunday (sunday)) the 22nd of april, the day after the big (huge!) basketball tournament

Where??? Alfred Newman Recital Hall

Uh, where??? It's by that big geyser across from Tommy. You'll see it because there are animals on the side of it.

There are animals on the side of it??? Yup.

Why are there animals on the side of it??? No idea.

How much does it cost??? Nothing.

Really??? Yes really. It's free.

Is it on Facebook??? Yes. http://usc.facebook.com/event.php?eid=2262227491

Is there free food??? Not that I know of. Sorry.

So in summary:

Come to my choral concert, sunday 4/22, at 7:30 pm, at Alfred Newman Recital Hall, please?

-Napoleon "I pray that one day my emails will be as funny as Tommy's" Cockamite, aka the Teeeeej

[User Picture]From: imagine8peace
2007-04-18 05:08 am (UTC)
Tyler. Why are you a good writer. You could at least be bad at writing. You could be a bestselling author AND a nobel prize winning physicist AND a broadway star AND a musician AND... and... and, etc.

This is frustrating because I couldn't no fair.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: wanda505
2007-04-18 05:24 am (UTC)
Thank you. That was... well, I suppose fascinating would be a good word for it. I kept losing my spot when I was reading that big long paragraph, but whatever.
(Reply) (Thread)